Becoming (Mostly) Bilingual

For my major in college, I was required to take a Language Development class.  One of the topics covered was Bilingual language development.  Of course once the class ended and I finished the final exam, I promptly forgot most of what I learned.  Now that we are in a situation where we want our daughter to grow up bilingual (and I too am trying to become comfortable using a second language), I am remembering and actually experiencing, little by little, that which I once learned from text books. (Also, I use Google a lot. :))  To be quite honest, despite all the research and formal education, I have been very nervous about a lot of aspects of this bilingual business.  Hey, it’s different when it’s your own child you’re talking about, not just some random kid who participated in a research study!  Thankfully most of my fears have been put at ease already.  So that’s what I want to share with y’all today.

Playdough + Best Bud = Great fun!

Mom Fear #1:  A second language is going to be much harder to learn than the first, and it’s going to take a lot of work!!

Reality:  Okay, it actually is more work for a grown-up to learn a second language, for sure.  I have spent some quality time with books that teach the basics of Portuguese, and done the little paper/pencil exercises that go with each lesson.  I’ve made little flashcards and practiced pronouncing words and sounds with Tiago giving me feedback.  All of these things were a great intro for me and definitely proved helpful, but guess where the real learning comes in!  Actually listening to and speaking the language on a daily basis.  I know, you’re shocked.  So after sitting quietly and listening and observing others speaking Portuguese for about 6 months, I started feeling like maybe I could actually talk a little too once in a while.  18 months later, I still don’t consider myself fluent by any means, but I consider myself able to cope in most social situations.  I can actually run errands by myself without having to make Tiago come with me to translate!

(Okay, just for fun, I'll tell you about one of my more embarrassing language moments so far:  One day in my English class, one of my students was very excitedly telling me a story which, the best I could figure had to do with jumping or skipping at a store, Fruteira do Parque.  What I heard was something like "Alguem saltou  Fruteira do Parque", which made very little sense to me why she was so worked up about it.  I think my response was one of those "Oh really?  That's nice." And she looked at me really funny, like "You just don't get it."  Well, later that evening Tiago told me that the store Fruteira do Parque had been robbed!  I said, "Wait, what's the Portuguese verb for 'robbed' again?" "Assaltar".  "Oooooooh!  Now I get it!  'Alguem assaltou Fruteira do Parque!'"  So I recall earlier in the morning, appearing to my little student to completely approve of this robbery.  Oops!!  At least I didn't say something worse like "That's great; you should do that again!"  I don't even want to know what she told her parents about our conversation...)

Now the kid version:  Clearly Lissie has not been able to pick up Portuguese lesson books and study vocabulary, yet she is still picking up words and phrases on a daily basis!  Here’s my attempt to sound smart:  Children’s brains are actually wired to learn languages early on.  This is how they learn their first language.  There is a developmental window that ‘opens up’ when they are teeny-tiny, and starts to close (it becomes harder to learn new language) around age 8.   But really, children who learn 2 languages at the same time instead of just 1 will be able to use both languages equally well later on.  So, occasionally we help her out with random words, but Elissa too has now spent about 18 months listening to and attempting to speak Portuguese.  And she too is not yet what I consider fluent, yet still is managing to communicate fairly well without any formal classes or training.  So, I would say that children learning the second language is not so much extra work as it is patience and exposure to another language.  

Mom Fear #2:  If she learns Portuguese and we live where people only speak Portuguese with her, she is going to forget her English!!

Reality:  I guess this could be the case if we stopped speaking English with her altogether.  But we didn't.  When we are in our home, we all speak English (for better or for worse).  Occasionally she will say something in Portuguese or will request that we speak Portuguese with her at home, but generally she prefers to use English with Mom and Dad.  We expect this to continue even after she starts attending a school program outside of home. (So stop worrying, Grandma!  Your granddaughter will still be able to talk to you and understand you just fine. :))

Now, the adult reality:  Maybe it’s a result of my age, but occasionally I forget certain words or how to say certain things in English now!  I’m pretty sure I haven’t forgotten English altogether yet, but next time we chat, I may say some things in a way that sounds odd.  (I’m sure most returned missionaries from foreign countries have had similar experiences.)  But I’m gonna go ahead and say that I don’t think I will ever completely forget my English as a result of learning Portuguese. 

Mom Fear #3:  She will get confused and mix her English and Portuguese!!  She won’t know which one to use when!

Reality:  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  I know, this is a stupid thing for me to be worried about as I have read all the textbooks saying that this is not an issue, but you know how it is, again, when it's your child.   Well, what has happened is Elissa has already figured out that when talking to Mom and Dad, she can speak English.  And she usually does, without mixing in Portuguese words.  Also, if she hears someone else speak to her in English, she will talk to them in English as well.  For example, in her swimming class, her teacher was afraid that Lissie wouldn’t understand her in Portuguese so she started speaking English to her.  (The teacher's English was pretty limited too.)  So then Lissie started to speak English back, and they had a hard time understanding eachother.  I suggested that the teacher use Portuguese with her and just speak to her like she would the other kids, maybe a little slower and using more gestures to show what she wanted.  Now in her swim class, Lissie speaks her limited Portuguese with the teachers AND the other kids!  She tells them “Oi Meninas!  Quer brincar com Elissa??”  (“Hi girls, want to play with Elissa?”)  Also, when she goes to other people’s homes who only speak Portuguese, she speaks only Portuguese when talking to them.  It’s really very impressive to me how quickly she picks up on which words are English and which are Portuguese!  In fact, often when we are playing she will randomly tell me “Mom, in English it’s (ball); in Portuguese, it’s (bola).”  Clever little thing!  Sometimes she just makes up her own translations, if she doesn’t know the real word.  “In English it’s ‘blanket’; in Portuguese, it’s ‘blanka’!”  No, it’s actually not. But nice try. 

To be honest, I think I mix languages more often than she does!  Remember that whole bit about language-learning becoming harder once you're older?  Yeah, I catch myself often inserting English words in the middle of Portuguese sentences, or vice-versa if I can’t think of the right word in English.  What’s even more surprising to me is sometimes I can’t think of the right word in English OR Portuguese, but for some reason it pops into my head in German!  Go figure…

Mom Fear #4:  Because she is learning both languages at once, she will be behind in both languages.

Reality:  This is probably the most reasonable of my fears, actually.  The truth is, if I compare her current English vocabulary and usage to another child of her age who only speaks English, she probably would be a little behind.  And the same is definitely the case with Portuguese, which she is still in the process of figuring out.  But what is encouraging to me right now is that this is completely normal with bilingual kids, and it is only temporary. She should be caught up and doing equally well in both languages within the next couple years.  And she is definitely progressing in both languages, which is also what is supposed to happen.  Also I feel more at ease when I see that she does interact and communicate with other children, and she is not afraid to try speaking their language.  Right now, it seems the main line of communication for her age group is play, and as long as they can have fun together, other children are happy to be around her and don’t become overly concerned with language differences.

One other thing that I have observed with both of us:  Being able to understand another language is MUCH easier than being able to speak the language yourself.  I find that I actually recognize and understand a lot of words in Portuguese used by others, but it takes much more effort to actually recall those words and put them together again in my mind, in proper context.  So if it’s that difficult for ME to figure out, I can imagine how hard it is for Elissa to do the same.  And that is also why I encourage her teachers and others who interact with her to just speak Portuguese with her, not to worry about trying to speak English.  Often she can understand their correct Portuguese better than their attempts to remember high school English anyway.  And if not, well, this is how she will learn.

So as I am looking at verb conjugation charts and trying to decide if the “Google Translate” translation really is the best way to say something in Portuguese, my little sponge is soaking it all up through her every-day play and activities, and starting to figure it out all on her own.  I’m thinking I got the short end of this stick.

Adapting

Today feels like a good time to blow the thick layer of dust off of our blog and let everyone know that we are all, in fact, still alive and well. J  It’s hard to believe that it’s already been nearly a year and a half since we moved away from the US, yet at the same time, I feel as though we have lived in Brazil for eons!  Apparently I have still not managed to camouflage well enough to seem Brazilian, as everywhere I go I am still asked “Where are you from?” or more accurately, “De onde você é?”  I must still have an American accent hanging around… (Yes, I'm sure that's their only clue. :)) When I tell people how long we’ve been here, they are always anxious to know how we are adapting so far, how we are enjoying their country so far.   (They are mostly curious about Lissie and I, of course, as Tiago already knows a thing or two about living here. J)  So I do my best to answer in my broken Portuguese and tell them at least a bit of the following information:

I feel more or less adapted to life in our ‘little’ city now.  I am proud to say that in most conversations, I am able to understand about 80-90% of what is being said, and USUALLY I am able to come up with a somewhat coherent response.  Luckily most people are pretty forgiving of incorrect verb conjugation and fill in the blanks when I get stuck trying to think of a certain word.  I’ve also discovered that if I don’t know a certain word, I can usually find a way to describe it or a different word that has a close enough meaning.  Or when all else fails, I play an impromptu round of Charades as I attempt to act out the word.  So hey, communication has improved a lot since we arrived here!  

Lissie has a blast with the neighbor kids.

People often ask how Lissie is doing with her Portuguese as well, particularly when they ask her a question and she hides behind my leg instead of answering.  I’m sure it’s pretty typical for most kids her age to hide behind mom when asked questions by strangers or less familiar acquaintances, so I explain that she understands a lot of what they are saying to her, but she is a little shy about responding in any language.  She’s actually quite impressive when playing with other children, as she automatically starts spouting the kid Portuguese vocabulary and phrases as she runs back and forth across the room. “Laurinha, vem ca!  Olha la!  E o gatinho!” etc. (Fine, here’s the translation:  “Little Laura, come here!  Look over there!  It’s a kitty!”)  So anyway, how is her Portuguese?  I would say she knows a lot more than she let’s us hear.   (Note to self:  Someday I should write an entry on what I have observed about bilingual babies/children.) 

Another way in which I feel I am more adapted now, is I can usually find my way around our city.  I am getting more comfortable with the layout and how the roads are, and I feel less and less terrified about driving into town by myself!  Which is a big deal for me! J  Have I explained in other blog posts about how confusing the road layouts are and how traffic signals are often difficult to see or have been knocked down and also how most of the roads here are cobblestone so that the very vibration of the car as it rolls along adds a whole new element of “Is this how it’s supposed to feel/sound?!”  and how people often just don’t stop at stop signs and pass other cars on single-lane roads and….  How about if I just say that public transportations isn’t really that bad of an option here?  Well, now when there is an errand to run, as long as I have a car, I run it!  Need to pick up a pharmacy prescription?  No problem!  Out of milk?  Not for long!  I still do not drive in or to other cities, but I’m beginning to feel more and more like maybe, just maaaaybeeee I could. If I had to.  If my life depended on it. 

Also, I feel like I am becoming a pretty decent  Amerizilian chef!   (See what I did there?)    I recently received the Brazilian equivalent to the “Better Homes and Garden” red and white checkered cook book, and I am really looking forward to using it.  Rice and feijao (black beans) have become staple foods and appear on the table a minimum of once per week.  We also eat a lot of Shepherd’s Pies, chicken casseroles, and Bife/Lombo Milanesas.  I’ve really enjoyed learning new (to me) traditional Brazilian recipes and cooking techniques.  At the same time, my very American recipe for Brownies has become famous with our fellow church members here, and is often requested for any upcoming activity.  We’ve also been known to enjoy an occasional banana bread, cupcakes, and other miscellaneous recipes I feel like trying that I’ve pinned on Pinterest.   (By the way, Cream Puff Cake = AWESOME!!) 

"Giddy-up, Daddy!"

One other area requiring some adaptation:  the ‘backwards’ weather!  I’ve gotten used to it now (after experiencing all four seasons first-hand last year), but it definitely throws me for a loop to have to wear sweaters and coats in June and July, and break out the short sleeves in time for Christmas.  Just think:  Right now, you’re probably enjoying a nice hot, sunny day, maybe on the lake or swimming at the town pool…  We’re coooold!!   I have on 3 layers while typing this, and am still thinking of grabbing a thick blanket off the couch and wrapping it around me like a cocoon!   Have I mentioned before about the general lack of heating and air-conditioning units here?  Sure, the bigger stores and most restaurants usually have something installed, but on a cold day here, the best way to stay warm is to assume there will be no heat wherever you go and dress accordingly.   I’ve seen cashiers at the grocery store sitting in full winter gear – hat, scarf, mittens, the whole deal - as they slide those items across the counter.   And don’t even get me started on what we wear to church in the winter months!  But pretty soon, you’ll be putting your jackets and long sleeves back on, and we’ll be shedding the extra layers again.  (In case you are worrying, we are one of not too many families here who have a heating/air-conditioning unit in our home.  Now.  After spending most of last winter shivering and huddling together under thick blankets, I’d say this was one of our best purchases yet!) 

There have been so many different things to learn and experience since we got here, and you know, the list only seems to get longer!   So are we adapted?  Well, there are new aspects to adapt to every day.  But as long as everyone can figure out what word I am acting out next, I think we’re okay. J  

Soaking Up Some Sun

Last week we enjoyed a relaxing (for the most part) family beach trip with Tiago's parents, in the Florianopolis (Floripa) area. Just for fun, I decided that I would describe our experiences there with some, err, I guess you could say statistics:

Bedrooms in our rental beach house = 3 (Thank goodness, Lissie had her own room!)

Central Air Unit(s) in said house = 0 (but the ceiling fans helped some)

Nights spent in said house = 11

Number of nights a certain toddler woke up in the middle of the night to throw up, and did not go back to sleep for several more hours = 3 (Poor little thing!  The strange part - they were not even 3 consecutive nights.)

Mosquito bites I received over the 11 days = about 100 (Why, oh why do they love my blood so much?!?!)

Delicious meals cooked by my in-laws = about 20!  (Okay, I wasn't really counting how many times they cooked, but they really are awesome chefs!)

Board games/dice games/card games played = 20 (Ticket to Ride was by far the most-played; other games included Starfarers of Catan, Killer Bunnies, Dominion, and Greed.  Tiago was the overall game champion, winning about 10 of the 20.)

Viewings of the movie Lilo & Stitch = at least 1000

Requested viewings of Lilo & Stitch = about 1,000,000 (Yeah, Tiago REALLY likes that movie. ;))

Sandcastles built = 2 attempts, none completed (We were becoming rather skilled at making mounds of sand though!)

Minutes Lissie spent on her grandparents' laps/in their arms = (Let's see, 60/hour x 24 hrs/day, - time sleeping...) I'll just go with about 10,000.

Vendors passing by on the beach = a LOT

Some items available for purchase from wandering beach vendors:  (I include this part because I was surprised by the variety of items for sale and how much money was spent while sitting in the sand, soaking up sun by the shore.)

Popsicles/ice cream on sticks

grilled cheese (NOT the sandwich, just blocks of mozzarella cheese on skewers)

corn on the cob

swimsuit cover-ups (Is that what we call them in English?  The little dresses or shirts that we wear over our bathing suit to and from the beach.  Here they are saida(s) da praia, or "beach exit".)

strapless bikini tops (I didn't notice any bottoms, but I can't imagine the guy NOT having some for sale as well.)

sunglasses

blankets & hammocks (probably hand-woven)

"agua de coco" still inside a chilled green coconut (to drink)

pineapples

fruit salad & cocktails

hats

kites

innertubes & inflatable rafts

paddles & rubber balls for beach paddle ball game

churros (chocolate- & doce de leite-filled)

homemade jewelry (beads & woven string mainly)

By the end of the trip, I would not have been surprised to see a real-estate agent walk by trying to sell property!  Not that we would have been interested or anything...  We did do our part for the beach economy by keeping the popsicle and agua de coco vendors in business.  (It was a real sacrifice, I assure you.) 

Elissa surprised me by actually enjoying the ocean water, after being afraid to go near it last year.  As we walked out into the waves, her little finger continued to point further out to sea as she insisted, "That way, THAT way!" Until the ocean water finally sloshed her in the face a few times and convinced her to retreat.

So, to sum it up, a good time was had by all (including the mosquitoes).