Becoming (Mostly) Bilingual

For my major in college, I was required to take a Language Development class.  One of the topics covered was Bilingual language development.  Of course once the class ended and I finished the final exam, I promptly forgot most of what I learned.  Now that we are in a situation where we want our daughter to grow up bilingual (and I too am trying to become comfortable using a second language), I am remembering and actually experiencing, little by little, that which I once learned from text books. (Also, I use Google a lot. :))  To be quite honest, despite all the research and formal education, I have been very nervous about a lot of aspects of this bilingual business.  Hey, it’s different when it’s your own child you’re talking about, not just some random kid who participated in a research study!  Thankfully most of my fears have been put at ease already.  So that’s what I want to share with y’all today.

Playdough + Best Bud = Great fun!

Mom Fear #1:  A second language is going to be much harder to learn than the first, and it’s going to take a lot of work!!

Reality:  Okay, it actually is more work for a grown-up to learn a second language, for sure.  I have spent some quality time with books that teach the basics of Portuguese, and done the little paper/pencil exercises that go with each lesson.  I’ve made little flashcards and practiced pronouncing words and sounds with Tiago giving me feedback.  All of these things were a great intro for me and definitely proved helpful, but guess where the real learning comes in!  Actually listening to and speaking the language on a daily basis.  I know, you’re shocked.  So after sitting quietly and listening and observing others speaking Portuguese for about 6 months, I started feeling like maybe I could actually talk a little too once in a while.  18 months later, I still don’t consider myself fluent by any means, but I consider myself able to cope in most social situations.  I can actually run errands by myself without having to make Tiago come with me to translate!

(Okay, just for fun, I'll tell you about one of my more embarrassing language moments so far:  One day in my English class, one of my students was very excitedly telling me a story which, the best I could figure had to do with jumping or skipping at a store, Fruteira do Parque.  What I heard was something like "Alguem saltou  Fruteira do Parque", which made very little sense to me why she was so worked up about it.  I think my response was one of those "Oh really?  That's nice." And she looked at me really funny, like "You just don't get it."  Well, later that evening Tiago told me that the store Fruteira do Parque had been robbed!  I said, "Wait, what's the Portuguese verb for 'robbed' again?" "Assaltar".  "Oooooooh!  Now I get it!  'Alguem assaltou Fruteira do Parque!'"  So I recall earlier in the morning, appearing to my little student to completely approve of this robbery.  Oops!!  At least I didn't say something worse like "That's great; you should do that again!"  I don't even want to know what she told her parents about our conversation...)

Now the kid version:  Clearly Lissie has not been able to pick up Portuguese lesson books and study vocabulary, yet she is still picking up words and phrases on a daily basis!  Here’s my attempt to sound smart:  Children’s brains are actually wired to learn languages early on.  This is how they learn their first language.  There is a developmental window that ‘opens up’ when they are teeny-tiny, and starts to close (it becomes harder to learn new language) around age 8.   But really, children who learn 2 languages at the same time instead of just 1 will be able to use both languages equally well later on.  So, occasionally we help her out with random words, but Elissa too has now spent about 18 months listening to and attempting to speak Portuguese.  And she too is not yet what I consider fluent, yet still is managing to communicate fairly well without any formal classes or training.  So, I would say that children learning the second language is not so much extra work as it is patience and exposure to another language.  

Mom Fear #2:  If she learns Portuguese and we live where people only speak Portuguese with her, she is going to forget her English!!

Reality:  I guess this could be the case if we stopped speaking English with her altogether.  But we didn't.  When we are in our home, we all speak English (for better or for worse).  Occasionally she will say something in Portuguese or will request that we speak Portuguese with her at home, but generally she prefers to use English with Mom and Dad.  We expect this to continue even after she starts attending a school program outside of home. (So stop worrying, Grandma!  Your granddaughter will still be able to talk to you and understand you just fine. :))

Now, the adult reality:  Maybe it’s a result of my age, but occasionally I forget certain words or how to say certain things in English now!  I’m pretty sure I haven’t forgotten English altogether yet, but next time we chat, I may say some things in a way that sounds odd.  (I’m sure most returned missionaries from foreign countries have had similar experiences.)  But I’m gonna go ahead and say that I don’t think I will ever completely forget my English as a result of learning Portuguese. 

Mom Fear #3:  She will get confused and mix her English and Portuguese!!  She won’t know which one to use when!

Reality:  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  I know, this is a stupid thing for me to be worried about as I have read all the textbooks saying that this is not an issue, but you know how it is, again, when it's your child.   Well, what has happened is Elissa has already figured out that when talking to Mom and Dad, she can speak English.  And she usually does, without mixing in Portuguese words.  Also, if she hears someone else speak to her in English, she will talk to them in English as well.  For example, in her swimming class, her teacher was afraid that Lissie wouldn’t understand her in Portuguese so she started speaking English to her.  (The teacher's English was pretty limited too.)  So then Lissie started to speak English back, and they had a hard time understanding eachother.  I suggested that the teacher use Portuguese with her and just speak to her like she would the other kids, maybe a little slower and using more gestures to show what she wanted.  Now in her swim class, Lissie speaks her limited Portuguese with the teachers AND the other kids!  She tells them “Oi Meninas!  Quer brincar com Elissa??”  (“Hi girls, want to play with Elissa?”)  Also, when she goes to other people’s homes who only speak Portuguese, she speaks only Portuguese when talking to them.  It’s really very impressive to me how quickly she picks up on which words are English and which are Portuguese!  In fact, often when we are playing she will randomly tell me “Mom, in English it’s (ball); in Portuguese, it’s (bola).”  Clever little thing!  Sometimes she just makes up her own translations, if she doesn’t know the real word.  “In English it’s ‘blanket’; in Portuguese, it’s ‘blanka’!”  No, it’s actually not. But nice try. 

To be honest, I think I mix languages more often than she does!  Remember that whole bit about language-learning becoming harder once you're older?  Yeah, I catch myself often inserting English words in the middle of Portuguese sentences, or vice-versa if I can’t think of the right word in English.  What’s even more surprising to me is sometimes I can’t think of the right word in English OR Portuguese, but for some reason it pops into my head in German!  Go figure…

Mom Fear #4:  Because she is learning both languages at once, she will be behind in both languages.

Reality:  This is probably the most reasonable of my fears, actually.  The truth is, if I compare her current English vocabulary and usage to another child of her age who only speaks English, she probably would be a little behind.  And the same is definitely the case with Portuguese, which she is still in the process of figuring out.  But what is encouraging to me right now is that this is completely normal with bilingual kids, and it is only temporary. She should be caught up and doing equally well in both languages within the next couple years.  And she is definitely progressing in both languages, which is also what is supposed to happen.  Also I feel more at ease when I see that she does interact and communicate with other children, and she is not afraid to try speaking their language.  Right now, it seems the main line of communication for her age group is play, and as long as they can have fun together, other children are happy to be around her and don’t become overly concerned with language differences.

One other thing that I have observed with both of us:  Being able to understand another language is MUCH easier than being able to speak the language yourself.  I find that I actually recognize and understand a lot of words in Portuguese used by others, but it takes much more effort to actually recall those words and put them together again in my mind, in proper context.  So if it’s that difficult for ME to figure out, I can imagine how hard it is for Elissa to do the same.  And that is also why I encourage her teachers and others who interact with her to just speak Portuguese with her, not to worry about trying to speak English.  Often she can understand their correct Portuguese better than their attempts to remember high school English anyway.  And if not, well, this is how she will learn.

So as I am looking at verb conjugation charts and trying to decide if the “Google Translate” translation really is the best way to say something in Portuguese, my little sponge is soaking it all up through her every-day play and activities, and starting to figure it out all on her own.  I’m thinking I got the short end of this stick.